Warning: If you’ve come to this blog post today looking for dieting tips, exercise tips, flat stomach tips etc….

You have really come to the wrong place.

You might as well leave now.

Or

Stay and have a read if you’re curious.

As you may have noticed in yourselves during quarentine, it is impossible to stay as active in this difference of routine.

Which means every dieting company,

Every fitness company,

Every health/fitness magazine and website,

IS TARGETING YOU.

I received an email yesterday from a company who I follow for their recipes (but they also deliver pre-prepared meals for a day. Hmmmmm).

It was about managing sugar cravings during this time.

It started off well.

Eat proper meals. Don’t cut out carbs. Your brain relies on glucose from carbohyrdrates to run.

Excellent, this is all good.

Then the final note was ….

‘Perhaps try our 3 day juice cleanse.’

Sorry babes, you lost me at juice cleanse.

As someone who suffered with anorexia and disordered eating for 14 years, let me tell you, it has been affecting me as well.

I am recovered, but those juicy little negative nuggets, like to slide past my brain, telling me to lose the belly fat and TO STOP EATING ALL TOGETHER.

What that anorexic part of my brain forgets, is that I’m recovered now.

And I bloody love eating. Like alot.

It is one of the five things in my life that make me happy.

Make that six…. I forgot about sex.

So when those juicy nuggets pass by, I can swat them off. Or have a debate with them.

I don’t act on these thoughts.

They may make me upset. Like overgrown bullies in my head. But they do not and I WILL NOT let them take over.

So in today’s blog I’m going to give you some advice on looking after your body image and self esteem throughout this period of quarantine.

Some of it will be general for anybody who suffers with body image, and some of it may be more detailed for those who are pre-recovery, recovering or recovered from an eating disorder.

I hope to be able to dole out some of my wisdom from my own experience, to help you.

EAT PROPERLY

This is SOOOOOOOO important.

Do not be swayed by deciding to cut carbs out of your diet or having one of those meal replacement shake.

Because let me tell you, honey, they ain’t replacing any meal.

Your brain is the busiest organ in your body. Carbohydrates are your body’s main source of energy. Carbohydrates get turned into glucose which is what your brain uses to WORK.

Cutting out carbohydrates can have a negative effect on your brain. There are further studies needed but it has shown that it can have an effect on learning, memory and thinking.

SO EAT THOSE GOD DAMN JUICY CARBS!

Carb rant over.

It is so important to continue on as normal. Have a proper breakfast. Have a proper lunch. Have a proper dinner. Have a snack if you need it.

Go for slow release carbohydrates. Chuck in some veg. Munch on some fruit. Get your protein.

Have a well balanced meal.

A great example of this if you’re thinking ‘I don’t know what that is, Joy’

Breakfast – Wholemeal toast, eggs, avocado, mushrooms and tomato. Or a bowl of porridge with some fruit and nut butter.

Lunch – Some wholegrain rice, some tofu/chicken/fish and some veggies. A sandwich.

Dinner – Spaghetti of your choosing. Stir fry of your choosing. Bangers and mash. Shepherds pie. Curry.

This is not a meal plan, so if I find any of you sticking to this to the T….. I will personally come round your house and throw some brussel sprouts at your head. In a loving way.

You have been warned.

If you’re panicking because you’ve been cutting your calories during this time and then you start feeling really hungry and then eat a whole load of chocolate biscuits one day, chances are YOU ARE NOT EATING ENOUGH.

Chuck out diets. Chuck out juice cleanses. And eat some real DARN FOOD.

And allow yourself some treats. It is a really stressful time in all our lives at the moment. Having some chocolate, ice cream or a packet of crisps every day IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

Look after yourself.

DO NOT CRIMINALISE EMOTIONAL EATING

I shall say this once….

THERE

IS

NOTHING

WRONG

WITH

EMOTIONAL

EATING.

There I said it.

There isn’t.

We need to stop criminalising it.

I remember having a conversation with a girl last year when I said that emotional eating was okay. It was looking after your body needs like a child.

She likened it to a DRUG ADDICTION (yes, you heard me correctly) and said you should just get on with it.

Yes, you should talk to your friends and family when you are sad.

Yes, you should deal with your emotions and ease your way through fears.

But also, yes, it is okay to have some damn ice cream when the world is in the middle of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC!

Treat yourself like the little child version of yourself.

Be kind and loving and GENEROUS with yourself.

WEAR CLOTHES AND THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.

Let me throw a little scenario at you.

If I was, as an experiment, to wear unwashed sweatpants (like three week old) and never shower during quarantine, what are the odds I would FEEL DEPRESSED.

Very high.

Wear stuff that makes you feel good.

The dress you have in the back of your wardrobe that you’ve never had the guts to wear but L.O.V.E.

The blazer jacket that makes you feel a million dollars.

The pant suit that you look BANGING in.

Dress to impress yourself.

Even if that is a cartoon t-shirt and a pair of joggers that you feel AMAZING in.

Do it.

Make yourself feel good.

Put on make up that makes you feel great (if you want).

Dye your hair turquoise.

Whatever – dress to make yourself feel GREAT.

FOCUS ON HOBBIES/DISTRACTORS

When I find my brain taking a little wander down ‘FUCK YOU I HATE YOUR GUTS’ lane, I find the best way of dealing with it is focusing on a task I enjoy.

Like writing, going on a long walk, listening to music, knitting, cooking or sketching.

My brain has to focus fully on these tasks otherwise the pot boils over and my knitting needles punctures my eye. You catch my drift.

I enjoy these hobbies so I can completely focus on them.

If I’m playing a video game, hours can go by and all I’m thinking about is slaying the trolls in the Dark Woods (side note: I love you Fable)

My best friend likes to make pompoms. She even made a pompom wreath at Christmas. The genius!

Do the hobbies you enjoy. Focus your mind on them. This is actually practising MINDFULNESS without you even bloody realizing.

WHAT DOES ‘FAT’ ACTUALLY MEAN?

This is especially useful for those suffering or having had suffered with an eating disorder.

But I encourage you to use it, if you have issues with your body images as well.

When you have a day, when you wake up, look in the mirror and think,

‘Ew I am fat. I am disgusting. I am FATTTTT!’

I want you to actually consult what this means.

What does ‘FAT’ actually mean?

Most of the time, if you interrogate this, you will realize there is a feeling behind this.

I will use myself as an example as not to focus in on any of you guys.

My eating disorder started because I was being bullied continuously for years and years and my parent’s marriage was ending.

I am ‘fat’ became a replacement for ‘I am depressed. I am scared. Everybody else hates me so I do too. I deserve to be punished.’

Now a days, if I have a ‘fat’ day, I will question it and realise that I am sad and am wanting intimacy of some form. Whether it be a hug (or sometimes a random snog with a stranger – this is not advisable. Don’t do that.)

Question what the emotion behind ‘fat’ is.

DO NOT DO EXERCISE THAT MAKES YOU HATE YOURSELF

I love circuit training when I’m in an actual studio.

It makes me feel strong and motivated.

When I tried circuit training at home, I hated myself. Like genuinely. Not. THE. ONE.

So now I’m doing Zumba on the Wii with my mum, doing yoga in the morning and going for a long walk in the forest or by the sea (WITHIN 2FT OF ALL STRANGERS. SOCIAL DISTANNNNCINNNNGGGGG!!!!)

These are all forms of exercise that make me laugh.

Or make me connect with myself and feel peaceful.

Or allow me to blast Bruce Springsteen or listen to an audio book as I smell the freshly cut grass.

Don’t do exercise that is a punishment.

Do the stuff that you actually enjoy doing.

Life is too short to spend half an hour each day hating your living guts.

Especially in quarentine.

Do exercise that makes your spirit SOAR.

Even if it is dancing round your room in your underwear for an hour.

‘OH MY GOD – HOW WILL I KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES I’VE BURNED?‘

I hear some of you in the back say.

You won’t. And it doesn’t matter.

It really doesn’t. You have to believe that.

As long as your body is moving and you are enjoying yourself. That is all that matters.

PHONE A FRIEND

On Monday, I spoke to my bestie, Lucy. My Aussie best mate, Davey. And my long term best friend, Hatti. We laughed, we caught up and we listened to each other.

Oh my spirit felt great afterwards. Even to have a moan about the way life currently is for us all.

Pick up your phone. Social distance socialize. Play a game together. Watch a film together. Have a few drinks together.

But also TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD.

This is not YOUR BURDEN TO BEAR ALONE.

I wish someone had told me that when I was fourteen years old, starving myself secretly and not telling anyone how unhappy I was.

Speak to your friends. Speak to your parents. Speak to your gran.

Whoever it is that you feel comfortable sharing this with, talk to them.

They don’t need to solve the problem. Or give you ideas of how to get around it.

Just listening and being there so you do not feel ALONE in this.

Do not bear this burden all by yourself.

SPEND SOME TIME ROMANCING YOURSELF

Now there is an advanced level of this which I shall get to.

But firstly I will start with the normal level of romancing yourself.

Do all the things you would do for a lover, FOR YOURSELF.

Write yourself notes. Speak sweet nothings to yourself.

Make yourself a lovely meal. Touch yourself in all the secret, unspoken, delightful areas of your body. Have a bubble bath.

I’m going to ask you to do something which you can choose to do or not.

Write down every amazing thing about yourself.

From your left eyebrow, to the way you laugh.

From your broad shoulders, to way you can dance.

Maybe even take some time in front of the mirror having an investigation. Like a Sherlock Holmes of your own naked body.

This may be hard. And you may find your brain trying to take you down ‘HERE ARE ALL THE THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU’ lane. But let that go.

Focus on the good. Focus on the great.

Because there are so many beautiful, brilliant things about you, my readers, that you don’t even see for yourselves.

‘But what if I’m the exception? What if i’m the disgusting, ugly one?’

No. That is not true. Each and every one of us has beauty on the outside and within. You just haven’t looked close enough to see. You have let past negative words live in your brain too long.

You can let them go now.

LET IT GO

This may be a hard one to swallow but….

OPINION IS NOT FACT.

‘What do you mean?’

If I believe I am ugly because all throughout primary school and highschool, I was told constantly I was ugly, I may believe I am ugly to this day.

Did these children have any evidence?

No. It was an opinion from some very sad, lost children’s mouths.

If you are of the belief that you are fat and digusting….

Do you have evidence?

Do you have actual evidence?

Maybe you believe it.

Maybe you were told it constantly by an ex-partner, or a parent or some peers.

Does that make it fact? NO!

These were opinions told to you by some people who frankly didn’t deserve to be in your presence.

Can you never wear a more form fitting piece of outfit because you think your stomach and your cellulite is disgusting?

Do you have evidence or just the OPINION of your own negative brain and a few losers at a party?

Show me some cold stone evidence that you are not beautiful, brave and amazing.

I bloody dare you!

Now you may turn round and say ‘Oh but the doctor said I need to lose weight for my health.’ or ‘My BMI is too high’.

If it is directly impacting your health in a NEGATIVE WAY, crack on. Make some healthy choices. DO. NOT. GO. CRAZY.

But there is nothing wrong with a larger body. Whatsoever. (Unless it is actually killing you).

There is so much going on in the world right now, so many scary things, the last thing you need to be doing is spending your living day and sleeping night, beating yourself up about the size or look of your body.

You need to try and let it go.

When those dark thoughts come, see they are there, and let them pass by.

No, thanks. Not today.

Remember, this period of time is about remaining SAFE, SANE and HAPPY.

It is not an excuse to lose 3 dress sizes, and excercise excessively.

It is not for spending an hour in front of a mirror berating yourself for the size of your thighs.

Eat. Stay sane. Stay safe. Call your friends.

Your goal right now is to STAY SANE and SAFE.

Please be kind to yourselves, dear ones.

(I wasn’t joking about the brussel sprout throwing)

Much love,

Joy xxx