I have STOMACH SQUISH.

We all have STOMACH SQUISH.

Do my family or my friends HATE me because when I sit down my stomach SQUISHES?

No!

Do police follow me down the street because I have stomach squish?

No!

Yesterday at a body confidence workshop with Laura Phelan (of Phelan Well), she made a really interesting point.

‘When you think of someone you care about or love, do you think about the way they look, what shape they are? Or do you think about the way they make you FEEL?’

‘When you pass from this world – what will you be remembered for?’

‘Will it be the way you looked? Or the things you did and they way you loved?’

I am not going to lie, I spend half my time checking my body, looking in the mirror gaging how much weight I’ve gained or lost each day.

The mirror and me are not FRIENDS.

However, do I deprive myself of food?

Do I spend hours of my day doing stomach crunches?

Hell no!

All praise for people who can put themselves through crunches and workout classes GALORE.

But I HATTTEEEEE being told what to do.

So me and workout classes don’t always mix.

(Although yesterday I did do a Barre class with Define Barre at LiveWell and it was rather fun. I can be proven wrong 💁🏼‍♀️)

Stomach crunches are BORING!

I would rather spend time crunching WORDS with my LOVED ONES and crunching KNOWLEDGE with my brain box and crunching down on some DELICIOUS FOOD.

If I ever go to a gym, I almost ALWAYS have an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.

‘Practically’, what good is having a SIX PACK?

Back in olden years, some people had muscular bodies because they WORKED on the LAND. They toiled for hours on a farm, in the mines or in factories.

Their muscles were because they worked in MANUAL LABOUR.

Their muscles helped them work HARDER and sustain the energy they needed.

If most of us work minimum labour jobs, how is having a SIX PACK going to help me do the FILING?

Would I rather a have a SIX PACK or a LAUGH?

My weight and the weight of all us of us is CONSTANTLY FLUXUATING.

At Christmas, I put on some pounds.

Because I refuse not to ENJOY the food and love around me.

If you FLASHBACK to 5 years ago, I was grilling a turkey breast, eating boiled potatoes and a few pieces of BROCOLLI on Christmas day.

Did I have STOMACH SQUISH? No.

Was I happy? HELL NO!

I am not saying I am fully happy now. I have and am suffering with depression.

Is my depression down to the fact I have stomach squish? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I used to rigidly stick to a workout plan. Running 4 times a week. Going to the gym 2-3 times a week.

This mean’t saying NO to seeing friends because I had to stick to my workout plan.

Spending less time with my then boyfriend, because I HAD to stick to my workout plan.

I can fully admit I WAS NOT A FUN PERSON to be around.

I was hungry. I was HANGRY.

I was so OBSESSED with having a stick thin, LEAN body, that I became a FULL ON TWAT.

I was ‘recovered’ but not really at all.

I’d gone from anorexia to ORTHOREXIA.

I can PUT MY HANDS UP and say I destroyed parts of my relationship with my then boyfriend, and destroyed friendships because of this.

I can PUT MY HANDS UP and say that I couldn’t fully engage in or enjoy my acting degree because my brain and body were over exercised and underfed.

I can PUT MY HANDS UP and say I couldn’t modulate my emotions because I wasn’t eating enough.

When I went on holiday with my then boyfriend, I had to run 12km in order to allow myself to have an ice cream.

All of this to have a six pack?

All of this to be a size 6?

So seriously what clicked in my head to make this change now?

Depression.

‘A quarter life crisis’

A re-evaluation.

Marie Kondo-ing my life.

I’m doing this now because I want to be happy.

I want my brain to work fully.

I want my energy levels to be sustained.

I want my emotions to be stable.

I don’t want to be a twat.

So does a bit of STOMACH SQUISH matter?

HELL NO!

I am a big old FAN of food porn.

It’s my go to relaxation and INSPIRATION method.

If I ever walk past a chocolate shop, I have to GO IN!

I love the smell. I love looking at all the different flavours.

I love chatting to the staff

(Full on food nerd 🤓 – what can I say?)

I highly recommend visiting Paul A Young if you are ever in London. The staff are lovely and the chocolates are inspiring and DIVINE!

So I thought today I’d do a chocolate shop inspired oatmeal.

Met the lovely team at Tribe yesterday who have a Salted Chocolate Protein which inspired me and I incorporated it into this recipe.

(you don’t have to add this – so don’t worry – it will still be DELICIOUS!)

Tribe also use coconut sugar to sweeten their protein powder. So it’s refined sugar free!

Chocolate and cherries are PACKED full of ANTIOXIDANTS. Brilliant for your immunity! I’ve used frozen cherries as cherries aren’t in season at the moment.

Cherries contain melatonin so help regulate sleep cycles. (Perfect porridge midnight snack)

The sweet cherries and the saltiness of the pistachios really balance and contrast the indulgent flavour of chocolate.

I was literally AUGUSTUS GLOOP falling into the chocolate river with this bowl this morning.

This is a DECADENTLY DELICIOUS way to the start the morning and relax into your day.

Salted Chocolate, Pistachio and Cherry Oats

What you’ll need:

• 45g oats (double quantities as you go if making for more than one person)
• Plant based milk (enough to cover the oats and a little more)
• 1 tbsp of cacao/cocoa powder
• (Optional) 1 tbsp of Tribe Salted Chocolate Protein Powder
• 1/2 tsp of salt
• A handful of cherries
• 1 tbsp of pistachio cream/butter OR 1 handful of pistachios.
• (Optional) 1 square of dark chocolate.

How to make it:

• Put oats into a pan or bowl.
• Top with the milk. Enough to cover the oats and a little more.
• If heating on the stove, heat on a low heat, stirring gently. As it starts to thicken, add cacao/cocoa powder, protein powder (if using it) and the salt. Keep stirring till at consistency that is PERFECT for you.
• Heat for 2 mins. Add cacao/cocoa powder, protein powder and salt. Stir. Heat for another 2 mins. Heat for 1 min more if you like your porridge THICK.
• Top with cherries and pistachios/pistachio cream/pistachio butter. Also add the square of dark chocolate, if you really want to SEDUCE yourself.
• Sit down with your oats, inhale the smell of the chocolate, breath out and say to yourself ‘I will start accepting my body today’. EnJOY, imagining you are in a chocolate shop.

It is not going to happen over night.

It really isn’t.

But maybe try today starting to let go of the person YOU THINK you should be, and accepting the person you ARE and the BODY you HAVE.

Much love,

Joy xx