Greetings from this POST APOCALYPTIC WORLD that none of us ever quite imagined we would ever be living.

Maybe I did make a few WW3 jokes in the past HOWEVER … this is no world war 3.

This is CORONA VIRUS times.

Or Miss Rony as it is sometimes fun to call her because let’s all just admit it…. THIS IS ALL HELLA DEPRESSING!

And a great coping strategy is USING HUMOUR TO NOT FALL INTO THE ABYSS.

Ha.

HA.

HA!

Every single news channel is filled with it.

Every social media outlet is filled with it.

And now, my BLOG IS TALKING ABOUT IT.

(Just call me Madame Hypocrite, thank you very much)

I’ve seen so many people weighing in with the best ways of dealing with this current turn of events, that now I’m gonna plonk my plump ass right in the middle of it.

Why?, you so lovingly ask.

A lot of the advice being given is from a medical or scientific stand point e.g.

Exercise in your home. Get your 5 a day. Do not drink or take drugs. WASH YOUR MOTHER LOVING HANDS!

Or from a very positive (perhaps EXCESSIVELY POSITIVE) stand point,

Use this time to learn a dead language like Old Norse. Perhaps build yourself a boat out of disused furniture. Become the BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE!

I am here to give you a REALIST stand point.

How does one cope?

How do you not fall off the deep end in a depressive cycle that sees you losing 3 stone and drinking 3 bottles of vodka before you’ve even had breakfast?

How do you not fall into old eating disorder habits and just stop eating all together and start carving the words to ‘God Save the Queen’ into your arm?

Now I am not saying I have all the answers (not that I haven’t said that already 3 million times on the blog.)

Just this weekend, I found myself sitting on my kitchen floor and crying whilst staring into the abyss. I had drank 1 and a half bottles of wine the night before and had stepped into the nether world where I looked at all my past failings, break ups, how much weight I had put on in a year, how I missed being anorexic and how I was going to always fail and EVERYBODY HATED ME.

Ha ha ha, a jolly old skip down depression lane.

I had to have a conversation with myself reminding myself that I had all the tools to deal with this current situation because I had lived and survived depression and anorexia for nearly 2 decades. That I had lived in self induced quarantine before and came out the other side BETTER AND HAPPIER.

And we all can…. but how?

Wake up at a normal time

NO REALLY, DO!

Having some sort of routine is SO IMPORTANT.

If you continue down a ‘late night and lie-in till god knows when‘ journey, your sleep will be majorly messed up.

And your happiness will decline.

Although it is a major pain in the arse to set an alarm and go to bed at a reasonable time, it is SO BLOODY NECESSARY.

Form some sort of routine

Keep an eating routine of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Fill your days with things that feed your spirit.

Watch tv. Play a video game with a friend. Pick up knitting again. Read a book. Do some exercise.

Keep a routine up to avoid going down the deepend.

You will find the day passes in a good way and your brain continues working in a health way.

Eat actual food.

No, a packet of biscuits for dinner does not count.

No, a multipack of crisps for breakfast does not count.

Eat actual food. Make an actual meal.

This does wonders for your MENTAL HEALTH as well as your physical.

FEED YOUR BLOODY SPIRIT, YOU MORON!

Do the stuff you love (within reason)

Do the stuff that MAKES YOU HAPPY.

Obviously that doesn’t mean you can go for a swim at the beach or go to your hot yoga class.

But do the stuff that makes you genuinely happy.

If that means masturbating for an hour, CRACK ON!

If that means playing video games for 2 hours with your friends online, GO AHEAD!

If that means playing with your dog for an hour, FLOOF ON FLOOFSTERS!

If that means picking up your sketch book again, DOO ITTT!!!

If it means learning a new language, OH MY GOSH GO FOR IT!

Do the stuff that makes you happy because you BLOODY HAVE THE TIME FOR IT NOW, MY LOVE!

Talk to people

Call your friends. Call your family. Reunite with long lost pals. Call your cousin.

Try and talk to a variety of people a day whether you are living alone, with family or friends.

Pick up the phone and skype people.

Limit your alchohol and drugs

This is pretty self explanatory. ‘Nuff said.

Do the stuff you’ve been putting off, if you want to

If you’ve wanted to shave your head for a while, what’s stopping you?

Case and point.

If you’ve wanted to dye your hair green, there is nothing holding you back.

If you’ve wanted to start a podcast, get on that.

You have so much time and the world is a funny state of affairs, so why not do the things that you’ve dreamed of, or thought about. TRY IT OUT.

My statement for this period is ISO-YOLO.

(Translation: ISOLATION YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!!!)

Sieze the day, my beauties.

Allow yourself to have SAD DAYS

Times are so scary and there are reasons to be sad and scared.

There is an awful lot on EVERYONE’S PLATES.

It’s okay to have sad days. Or days you don’t want to speak to anyone.

Or days that you want to stay in your pyjamas in bed.

That is okay. There are no rules for dealing with this so cut yourself some slack.

And most of all, be KIND TO YOURSELVES.

Be so RADICALLY KIND TO YOURSELVES.

LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF YOURSELVES RIGHT NOW!

Much love to you all,

Joy x

p.s.

If this makes you smile, here’s a picture of my Ma’s puppy Hilda whilst I was writing this.

Yes, those are her natural lashes. Are you jealous?