Healthy eating and exercise are not EVERYTHING.

They are important but your life should not be RULED by them.

They should not be the PUNISHING DOCTRINE you live by.

You should live by JOY.

You should live by BALANCE.

You should live by LOVE.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted the perfect body at any cost.

It wasn’t for anyone else. It wasn’t for her boyfriend.

In fact, she had quite forgotten what it was for.

You would find her…

Sweating away.

Pushing her body to the extreme.

Her pale face turning red and blotchy.

Her clothes clinging to her with sweat.

Her hair sticking to her forehead.

1 hour passed.

2 hours passed.

And she would shower, put on her clothes and go to her day job.

Exhausted before the day had even begun.

Or running round the common at 4am,

Completing 15km before the world had even woken up,

Before her boyfriend had woken up.

She could only consume ‘healthy’ foods.

Spending each Sunday carefully measuring and prepping her lunches for the week.

Making sure each one of them was under 300 calories and not a calorie more.

Or going to the toilets and crying after having eaten chips or a burger.

Spending the rest of the evening beating herself up for having given into to bad foods.

Exercise took priority over family and friends and her life.

Every calorie had to be counted for and it needed to be healthy.

She very rarely spent a day in doors as exercise had to be done.

She never spent a lazy Saturday morning in bed with her boyfriend as a 15km run was more important.

Even if it left her tired and sad.

‘No pain, no gain.’

Ah, but dear readers, she lost much more than she ever gained with this obsession.

She had a six pack.

But was she happy?

Sadly, not.

Orthorexia.

The obsession with only consuming food which is deemed as ‘healthy’.

This is the reason that I always encourage BALANCE and AWARENESS not restriction.

Restriction is as unhealthy as eating to excess.

Restriction is like saying ‘I will NEVER walk over THREE DRAINS in case of BAD LUCK’

Yes, science shows us that over time eating junk food on a regular basis has a detrimental effect on your body.

Yes, science shows us that over time eating junk food on a regular basis can bring on depression and anxiety.

But eating chips or refined sugar or burgers or pizza once a week does not mean…

THE WORLD AND YOUR BODY WILL FALL APART IF YOU EAT THEM.

Obsessive exercise.

Exercising a lot can surely only ever be good, right?

Now I am not saying if you go to the gym on a regular basis and are ecstatic about fitness, you have a complex.

But there is a difference between loving it,

And it completely ruling your life.

Even I wasn’t aware that in my way of recovering from anorexia all those years ago,

It had warped back into orthorexia and obsessive exercise.

Orthorexia is not mutually exclusive to excessive exercise

But for me they went hand in hand.

Like the dish running away with the spoon.

I stuck to a rigid eating plan.

I would only eat foods that were ‘healthy’.

And if I ever ate foods that disrupted this ‘healthy’ eating, I would go into panic.

My mind spiralling.

Having panic attacks.

Crying to my then boyfriend that I was fat.

I would spend ages in front of the mirror tearing apart the way I looked.

I had to eat because…

I was ‘better’ from anorexia.

So if I was going to eat, I had to eat healthily.

Instead of spending quality time with my then boyfriend, I would be out for a 15km run or in the gym for two hours.

Instead of a lazy Saturday morning in bed, I was exercising. I had to.

There wasn’t a compromise.

I. Had. To. Exercise.

When I ate food like chips or bigger portions, I would spend the rest of the evening pulling myself apart as he attempted to put me back together.

Then in the morning, I would push my body to the extreme exercising and then obsessively under eat and only eat ‘healthy’ foods for the rest of the day.

It was a nightmare.

The amount of rehearsals or work days in which I could barely concentrate or draw any energy because my body was under so much strain.

If I was on holiday, I would still exercise obsessively.

If I was offered cake, chocolate or biscuits at work or with friends, I would find a way out of it.

I would not meet friends in the evening until I had gone for a run or to the gym.

The only day off from exercise I gave to myself was a Sunday.

If I was ill, I would still try and go for a run.

I once tore the muscle completely in my foot and I still went for runs and to the gym, much to the annoyance of my doctor and upset of my mother.

I even had labryinthitis (chronic vertigo) and went for a run two days after being given medication as I was panicking about not having exercised.

So what changed?

Was there a magic solution?

‘Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together’

Things got bad.

Depression dragged me down.

It’s a horrible truth but because I sank to the absolute bottom, I had to look up and realize why I had fallen down.

In order to move forward, I had to challenge my past thinking and past decisions and think WHAT DO I NEED TO CHANGE?

Obviously, I did not do this when I could barely get into the shower.

But when my brain started to work again, I had to change things.

And because I challenged myself there were things I had to let go of, forever or temporarily.

And I brought more JOY into my life.

Instead of running from my feelings (unintended pun), I had to get proper help.

When starting work again, I realized the amount of energy required.

I realized how much energy I needed to stabilize my emotions.

I realized how much energy I burned from my long runs and gym sessions and undereating.

I had to prioritize what was more important;

My future or being ‘perfect’?

Have I finally learned to love my body?

No. But I’ve learned to accept it.

I would much rather have the energy to laugh with my friends,

Enjoy my exercise when I want to celebrate my body,

Write and think properly,

Learn to my full capability,

Dance to music with my whole body.

I would much rather be happy.

I would much rather my life was filled with JOY.

I recently attended a barre class with Define Barre and I pushed my body as hard as it would go.

Not to punish myself but out of enjoyment.

And when it wouldn’t go any further, I rested and then tried again.

I left the studio full of happy adrenalin.

I suddenly realized why Barre has been the first exercise class I have enjoyed.

Because it was the first time in 26 years of living that I had attended an exercise class to…

CELEBRATE my body and everything it can do

rather than PUNISH it.

What I encourage you to ENGAGE in is

to EXERCISE to CELEBRATE your body.

Exercise is not about punishment.

It’s about JOYFULNESSS.

It’s about enjoyment.

It’s about pushing yourself in a fun way.

You should finish feeling exhilarated and satiated not feeling worse about yourself.

Eating healthily is important but it should not rule your life.

Balance is important. Restriction is not.

Balance is having the knowledge of what is good and ‘bad’ for your body,

And having more of the good stuff and having less of the ‘bad’ stuff.

It is not about cutting it out completely.

It is about being aware.

A balanced meal means eating protein, vegetables, CARBOHYDRATES AND GOOD FATS.

Carbohydrates are not your enermy.

Your body primarily runs off of them.

Neither are chips, burgers and pizza your enemy.

THE WORLD AND YOUR BODY WILL NOT FALL APART IF YOU EAT THEM.

Balance is key.

The most important thing in life is JOY.

(Well that’s just bloody big headed)

No. Not me. But the concept of JOY.

JOY in your life.

JOY in your exercise.

JOY in your food.

Bringing JOY to others.

Filling other people with JOY.

Changing the world to bring more JOY to people’s lives.

Much love to you all,

Joy xx