Science Experiment Day 7:

Objective: To stop counting calories, eat when I’m hungry and need energy.

To live life to it’s fullest, eat food to it’s fullest and love to my fullest.

Also burgers. And salted caramel.

Is that an objective? I don’t care.

IT IS NOW!

The problem with being ‘recovered’ is that your eating can still be disordered.

The shackles can be loosened.

But you can still count calories and exercise rigidly.

A healthy but slim weight.

Under eating during the week.

Over exercising.

Running on little to no energy.

Snapping at people.

Getting depressed.

All for the quest to be a size 6.

Getting privately upset every day if you gain even a slight semi-inch of weight.

I thought I was recovered.

I thought ‘Well you eat chips now (on weekends), you are so much better’

I was quite content under-eating massively during the week, just to stay slim and convince everybody else that I ate normally by eating BIG FOOD in front of friends.

I genuinely thought this was normal.

That everyone else was constantly emotional, angry, tired and ravenous.

Recently when attending Live Well London, I attended a body positivity workshop with Laura Phelan (from Phelan Well).

What stuck in my my mind were the words,

‘Do you want to spend the rest of your life shrinking yourself?’

And it took a few days to sink in,

But it hit me.

I had quite LITERALLY been wasting my life in a desire to remain slim.

I had no energy.

I wasn’t a particularly fun person to be around sometimes because all I could think about was HOW TIRED AND HUNGRY I WAS.

I would cry at the drop of a hat. Anything would set me off!

I had absolutely no motivation whatsoever.

Because I wasn’t a ‘worrying’ weight it was quite EASY to slip under the radar.

But in the words of my best friend, Lucy,

‘EFF THAT FOR A BARREL OF LAUGHS!’

I am quite literally TIRED of being TIRED.

Tired of PISSING my life down the toilet drain.

So as of a month ago (I mean come on Joy, really?),

I’ve been eating when I’m actually hungry.

Which sounds like complete and utter common sense, but obviously not.

I had to have a conversation with myself where I said

‘You may gain weight.

Your boobs and bum may get bigger.

But this is okay.

It’s who you ARE that matters.

And beauty comes in EVERY SIZE.

You know this.

You see this.

Believe this!’

The cogs have been turning in my head since January.

And the rules have been getting looser.

Quite obviously, by what I’ve been saying and eating previously on the blog.

Do you know what ONE thing I have noticed?

(Is it weight gain? Is it weight gain? Is it weight gain?)

No, it isn’t weight gain.

I have more energy.

My brain is working better.

My emotions are getting more stable.

And my happiness is increasing.

OH MY GOD WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT EATING PROPERLY WOULD MEAN YOUR BODY AND BRAIN WOULD WORK PROPERLY!

YOU TRULY ARE A GROUNDBREAKING BLOGGER!

My listening skills have improved.

My ability to retain information has improved.

My exercise and running has improved (yet no so rigidly obsessive as it was before)

And my desire to live and plan for the future has improved.

Basically my body is WORKING LIKE IT SHOULD!

At the age of 26 years old, maybe I’m finally getting my SHIT together?(I mean… let’s not jump the gun.)

So at the moment I am on a little experiment to stop counting calories.

When I am hungry… like ACTUALLY hungry

(not just thirsty or emotional)

(although eating for your emotional needs is also VERY IMPORTANT)

I eat.

When I’m tired – I eat for energy.

I am listening to my body PROPERLY, for the first time in my life.

I say it’s an experiment because I am testing the water.

I’m stepping bravely.

I have and ALWAYS will LOVE food.

How amazing it tastes.

The exciting things you can do with it.

The artistry you can create.

But I’m taking this relationship to the NEXT LEVEL.

We’re in a fully committed and engaged relationship.

I’m MARRYING food into my daily life.

(Not just for the weekend, baby girl. You’re upgraded from mistress to WIFE)

I’m going to use the car analogy AGAIN.

But you pump your car (body) with fuel, and it runs.

It runs WELL, depending on whether its passed it’s MOT and is in full health.

I encourage mindful eating.

I am aware of what is best for my body to run and to run to a long age.

Which is slow release carbohydrates, protein, good fat, fibre, vegatables, fruit etc…

But eating a BURGER, eating a PIZZA, eating an ICE CREAM…

IS NOT GOING TO MAKE THE CAR BREAK DOWN.

If you jam it into the exhaust pipe EVERY DAY, then yes, there are going to be repercussions.

LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED TO IT’S FULLEST.

FOOD IS MEANT TO BE EATEN TO IT’S FULLEST.

And LOVE…. and I mean this with my whole heart is meant to be EXPRESSED TO IT’S FULLEST.

Love, live and EAT.

(Maybe that should be my catch phrase)

My porridge used to be HELLA BORING.

Like HELLLAAAAA BORING!

It was made with water. A pinch of salt. A dash of sweetener. And topped off with a little cold soya milk and a few blueberries.

I used to be so obsessed with the calorie content I was consuming that once, MANY YEARS AGO, I dropped a carefully made bowl of porridge on the floor and…

The bowl smashed and the porridge spread over the floor.

So like any SANE person, I starting weeping and eating the porridge OFF OF THE FLOOR!

Yeahhh…. that was not a high point to say the very least.

Now, it’s a JOYOUS moment of my morning.

And I NEVER count how many calories I’m having.

I just check how hungry I am feeling and how much I have to do in the day

and balance out my slow release carbohydrates, protein, good fat and fibre ACCORDINGLY.

I quite LITERALLY…

Listen to my GUT.

I would NEVER have dreamed putting PEANUT BUTTER in my porridge all those years ago.

Peanut butter was a DIRTY WORD.

Now if I do not have it DAILY, I am a very sad Joy.

(I have been known to have a teaspoon of it if I haven’t had it in the day)

(Well maybeeeeeeee MORE than a teaspoon, if we’re being FULLY HONEST today)

Cut me open and I bleed nut butter

(I don’t. Please don’t try)

Today I’m making PBJ oatmeal.

(This is OPTIONAL) But I’m trying out the Raspberry and Goji berry protein from Tribe.

But you could always use a different protein powder.

ANNDDDDD

MASH UP RASPBERRIES into the oats whilst you cook them to make them all JAMMY and RASPBERRY too.

Raspberries are full of Vitamin C so aid in iron and magnesium absorption into your body. ENERGY A-GO-GO!

I’ve mashed them into the oats and TOPPED it with fresh raspberries. The mashed bit is the ‘jam’ so ALL natural sugar and fresh raspberries because if you’re gonna eat fruit, eat it in it’s WHOLENESS. It’s tastier and keeps your belly fuller for longer.

Peanut butter is FULL OF GOOD FAT. Fat is AMAZING for brain function and just generally for your body to work to it’s FULLEST.

And protein! Protein keeps your energy going in the morning working together like a SUPERHERO team duo with the slow release carbohydrates of the oats.

Also PBJ – is like the happy childhood memories that you have bundled into your morning oats. YUMMM!!

PBJ Oats

What you’ll need:

• 45g oats (double quantities as you go if making for more than one person)
• Plant based milk (enough to cover oats)
• 3 tbsp of water.
• (Optional) 1 tbsp of Raspberry Protein Powder (I used Tribe‘s Raspberry and Goji Protein)
• 1 tbsp of coconut cream
• A pinch of salt
• 1 tbsp of raspberries mashed.
• 1 tbsp of peanut butter
• Handful of raspberries to top.

How to make it:

• Put oats into a pan or bowl with the mashed raspberries, dash of salt, coconut cream, optional protein powder.
• Juice and zest half a lime. Set to one side.
• Top with plant based milk, a spoonful of coconut cream and the water. Put enough plant based milk to cover the oats and a little more.
• If heating on the stove, heat on a low heat, stirring gently. Keep stirring till at consistency that is PERFECT for you.
• If heating in microwave, heat for 2 mins. Stir. Heat for another 2 mins. Heat for 1 min more if you like your porridge THICK.
• Top with peanut butter and handful of raspberries.
• Sit down with your oats and enJOY your bowl of PBJOY (see what I did there).

Love, live and EAT life to it’s fullest today,

Much love,

Joy xx