You don’t have to do things that make you unhappy anymore.

You don’t have to associate with people who make you unhappy.

You don’t have to stay in a job that makes you unhappy.

You don’t have to live in a city, town or village that makes you unhappy.

You don’t have to date somebody who makes you unhappy.

You can choose happiness.

You can be brave.

You deserve to be happy.

I learnt as a child through years of bullying and unhappiness that I was stuck in this predicament.

Permenantly.

(Sub note: Absolutely no reflection on my Mum and brother’s love whatsoever. They were always my shining lights and always will be ❤️)

That I didn’t deserve to have better friends.

That I didn’t deserve to be spoken to kindly.

That I didn’t deserve happiness.

That I would never be wanted.

That I would never be loved.

That is CATEGORICALLY NOT TRUE.

It’s taken me a long time to realize this.

A lot of hard work to get over a negative pattern of thinking.

And accepting that I deserve love, happiness and goodness in my life.

That I have a high worth and should be treated with respect.

On Friday, I bumped into an old friend.

Absolutely gorgeous human being INSIDE and OUT.

And she spoke to me about that feeling of being stuck in a rut.

In a job you hate.

Eating badly.

Sleeping all day on your day off.

What can you do?

And I know that feeling.

That stuck feeling.

That you cannot move forward.

That the problem is YOU.

I’ve spoken quite a few times about ‘quarter life crisis’ which can also be a ‘mid life crisis’.

A life crisis.

They are the same thing in which a person questions where their life is going and if what they have in it MAKES THEM HAPPY.

This is healthy. Honestly it is.

And all I can say to ANYBODY at any age who is feeling stuck in a rut and unhappy in their current situation is that….

You have the POWER to change your situation.

You don’t have to do things that make you unhappy anymore.

If you feel like you chose the wrong job or career, figure out what makes you happy, do the research, and move down a different path.

If you’re in a relationship, where the other person doesn’t care, or can’t see your worth, start a conversation, question what’s happening, and if it can’t be improved, LEAVE.

You deserve to be treated with respect and love.

You deserve for someone to see how truly beautiful you are.

If you hate your current living situation whether it be your house or city or town or village, start working towards being able to move.

Budget, save, work hard and change your circumstance.

If you are stuck in a diet rut, constantly starving yourself then gaining weight, swinging backwards and forwards, you can make a decision to stop. To choose to feed yourself properly. To listen to your internal cues.

I am forever seeing people posting memes complaining about work. Or making self deprecating jokes about their life.

And the thing is … you completely have the power to change it.

You have the power to change your life.

Albert Einstein said,

‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’.

You don’t need to keep complaining about something, that you have the ability to make DIFFERENT.

I don’t want it to sound like I’m coming from some ethereal place of privilege because I’m not.

In December of last year, I was in one of the lowest places of my entire life.

I hated my day job. I hated my present situation.

I had no money.

I was working ridiculously long hours never doing anything I loved or seeing anybody I loved.

I hated being in dating situations where I was being messed about and treated like some plaything that could be dropped whenever.

I hated my body. I was going from starving in the week and binging on the weekend and I was over exercising excessively.

To escape from my feelings, I was getting drunk, going out every weekend and just woke up feeling worse.

So I had to make a change.

I could carry on a life of suffering or MAKE THE CHANGE.

I chose happiness.

I saught treatment for depression.

I changed my job.

I chose to be alone/single so I could really finally see my worth and how I deserve to be loved. To love myself.

I engaged in long term therapy.

I decided to quit drinking for a year.

I decided to listen to my body and eat more and properly.

I changed my exercise routine.

I stopped engaging with things and people who made me feel like shit.

This is not to say that every day I’m amazingly happy, that I do not stumble and have sad days and where I do not go into old negative patterns.

Because all those things happen.

And that’s okay.

Being a human and living is figuring out how to be happy.

Which everyone of us deserves.

I really challenge you to stop COMPLAINING about the things that make you miserable and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If things in your life make you miserable, be brave and CHANGE THEM.

You do not have to engage in a life of self deprecation and sadness.

You have the power in you to make a change.

It doesn’t take riches.

It doesn’t take privileges.

It takes YOU.

Please remember that,

Much love,

Joy xx