Dear anybody who hates their body,

Whether you be a teenage girl or boy,

Someone in their twenties,

Or someone in your sixties.

Hating your body is an easy choice.

It’s what we are taught to do.

With advertisements. With the media. With the celebrities we see on screen.

With diet culture. With exercise classes. With clothing sizing in shops.

The harder choice is learning to accept your body.

To even love parts of it.

But harder choices are often better choices.

They lead to happiness.

They lead to acceptance.

If you let go of negative body talk, what would you have MORE room for in your life?

More laughter?

More learning?

More love?

More happiness?

More time to do what you like doing?

If you think this is an easy bunch of images for me to upload,

Or easy words for me to type…

They aren’t.

I have spent my whole life hating my body.

And there is damage I cannot undo.

But the damage I can undo is the way I see my body.

I don’t love my body.

But I choose to accept it.

If you were to ask me what body part I have most issue with,

It would be my stomach.

I’ve prodded and poked it.

Cried over it.

Beat myself up over the fact it squishes.

Measured it constantly.

Starved myself to make it smaller.

Over exercised to see my rib cage.

I even waist trained with a corset for a while.

Till I collapsed in a DIY shop

(What I was doing in a DIY is a completely separate question. )

(No, seriously, what was I doing in a DIY shop?)

(I don’t even do DIY.)

But apart from the fact on a body dysmorphic level, I have issues with it.

It also has issues with me.

We’re not the best of friends.

This was me two days ago.

Surprise.

I’m not pregnant.

That, my friends, is a day in the life of someone with IBS.

This week my IBS has been bad. I’ve been nervous because of my new job.

I’m coming up to my WOMAN WEEK. (LOL)

So my stomach has hated me all week.

What’s difficult when you suffer with IBS is BODY IMAGE.

When you already have a complicated relationship with your body image because of years of recovering from anorexia and orthorexia then…

Your stomach swells up 3 times it size, a whole day can be written off in HATING YOUR SELF.

Trousers are tight and won’t fit because your stomach is so swollen.

You’re in constant pain.

And don’t even get me started about CONTEMPLATING taking your clothes off in front of a prospective lover.

This week, it genuinely made me feel horrible.

I felt fat. I felt disgusting. I looked pregnant.

I felt old words creeping in.

Then I realized…. How is this helping? How is hating my body HELPING me?

It was wasting precious brain space. Wasting precious energy.

That this is a time where my body needs the most love.

The most care. The most acceptance.

To wear loose clothing.

To drink calming tea.

To drink lots of water.

To CUT MYSELF SOME SLACK.

All our bodies are different.

Different sizes. Different shapes.

And some of our bodies don’t work as well as they should.

It may be an illness, or a disability.

If a friend told you on a regular, daily basis…

‘You’re shit, why don’t you just get over it? Stop being ill, you look like CRAP!’

You would get rid of that friend, right?

So why would you speak to yourself that way?

If you had a friend who said to you on a regular basis,

‘You look fat. You’re digusting. You’re ugly. You physically repulse me and your thighs rub together.’

You would punch them in the face (or cry).

So why on EARTH would you speak to yourself that way?

Negative body image is something difficult to get over.

A cycle of negative thinking can become ingrained into our psyches.

For women and men, we are pushed with images of what we ‘SHOULD’ look like.

In shops, the mannequins are a certain body type.

In fashion magazines and adverts, the models are a certain body type and size.

A certain size and shape of body is IDEALIZED.

There are constant weight loss stories. Before and after photos.

WE ARE TOLD ON A DAILY BASIS HOW OUR BODIES SHOULD LOOK.

And do you know what?

Your body should look how your body ACTUALLY looks.

Size 26 – amazing.

Size 6 – great.

Size 14- fab.

Small boobs, big hips – beaut.

Big boobs, big thighs – cracking.

Small boobs, small hips – lovely.

Start identifying in your self what is SPECTACULAR.

When I was 16, I wrote a list of my favourite freckles.

In an act of better body image.

I have a freckle on my lower stomach, that I started to draw a smiley face round.

I said it was my favourite freckle. It wasn’t. But I made it my favourite.

I knew I hated my stomach, so if I could LOVE one tiny freckle, then I could start to learn to love the rest.

Try turning some of the things you hate into positives.

For example,

I have a fat ass —–> More cushion for the pushing.

Wait, no, that’s not what I meant. At all.

Here’s some ACTUAL EXAMPLES –

My thighs touch ——> My thighs are strong and kiss each other.

I have tiny boobs ——-> They are pert and I can get away with not wearing a bra.

I hate my stomach ——-> I love that freckle on my stomach.

Imagine if we all had EXACTLY the same body.

Life would be pretty boring.

We need to start accepting our differences.

Embracing and UNDERSTANDING

Accepting and neutralizing the negative thoughts.

You don’t have to LOVE your body.

Just understand and accept it.

I WISH I could go back and hold severely anorexic, young me in a tight hug and tell myself this,

‘The worst thing that can happen to you is NOT weight gain.

Heartbreak is WORSE.

Grief is worse.

Depression is WORSE.

The damage you will do to your body is WORSE.

Having boobs and a bum is NOT a bad thing.

Your body is your own.

Don’t be afraid of being able to feel it. To feel that it exists.

To be able to feel your thighs rub together, or boobs bouncing, means you are ALIVE.

You have survived.

Your brain working properly and being able to learn and love is MORE IMPORTANT.

When you reduce your body, you reduce your brain, you reduce your heart, you reduce your soul, you REDUCE yourself.

No lover will ever tell you to put your clothes back on. No lover will shame your body.

The only person who will ever do that is you.

So stop.

I choose to love you.’

After a week of negative body image because of my IBS, yesterday I took action.

I wore looser clothing. I ate calming food.

My body is bigger. My ass is bigger. My thighs touch. My stomach is still slightly swollen.

But yesterday, I felt good.

I’m not a size 0. I’m not a size 6. And that is a-okay.

My ass is bigger.

My thighs touch.

My stomach is muscular but squishy.

My IBS sometimes makes my stomach swollen.

But it is my body.

It keeps me alive.

It keeps me strong.

It keeps my brain working.

It keeps me fighting the good fight.

And for that I love it.

I wish you the same too.

If you let go of negative body talk, what would you have MORE room for in your life?

What would you gain?

Ask yourself this question this week.

Much love,

Joy xx