I’ve gained weight!

And it’s seriously not an issue.

Contrary to popular belief, I’ve gained weight and it’s a HELLA GOOD THING.

For the first time in my adult life I have been eating 3 proper meals a day and snacks in between.

Oh my gosh, like a normal human being, really? Revolutionary!

I’ve been eating when I’m hungry.

Eating when I need energy.

And eating for the hell of it.

I have perpetually been a size 4-6, sometimes at a push an 8, for a very long time.

Over a decade in fact.

Not because my body is naturally that way.

But because I made it that way.

Undereating and over exercising.

There have been periods where I have explored being ‘bigger’. Then quickly relapsed.

But at the end of last year, I realised that I was tired of shrinking myself.

In the pursuit to shrink my body, I had shrunken my mind and personality.

(And let’s not go into the irreversible damage I have done to my body)

Hence, I have now gained weight.

I’ve gained energy.

I’ve gained brain power.

I’ve gained better mental health.

But….

Not gonna lie…

It’s hard.

Earlier this week, I tried on a pair of jeans that have fit me for 4 years and they were tight.

They were tight around my bum.

They were tight around my thighs.

They were tight around my stomach.

I was a little upset.

I went into an old body checking routines.

I had a cry.

When I’d done beating myself up for being a healthy B.M.I.,

(I mean, come on, Joy)

I checked in with myself.

What the hell is the problem?

Cue Thursday, and I am in a high street shop NOTORIOUS for

undersizing their clothes and

body shaming women with

the use of their stick thin mannequins

and models for promotion.

I picked up a size 6, a size 8 and a size 10.

I had a semi Goldilocks experience with these jeans.

I tried to put on the size 6 – not a CHANCE!

I tried to put on the size 8.

Firstly struggling to get it over my ankle. Then struggling to get it over my thighs. Then SUPER STRUGGLING TO GET IT OVER MY ARSE.

Sweaty and red in the face, I tried to do the button up.

Absolutely not a chance in HELL.

And I laughed.

I shocked myself by laughing. And I laughed more.

I took a video as I genuinely wanted to capture this moment.

In the past, I would have cried, spent the rest of the day beating myself up and not eating again.

Something has changed. For good.

I tried on the size 10 and it was tight on my arse and thighs and loose on my waist.

WHAT GIVES?

I tried again today in various different shops, getting sweatier and sweatier.

Every single time I tried on a pair of jeans, it would either be TOO TIGHT ALL OVER.

Or perfect on my arse and thighs and too loose on the waist.

WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS is that the high street sizing is imagined for ONE TYPE OF BODY.

When all our bodies are ALL DIFFERENT SIZES.

I appreciate that I have a naturally slim, muscular body so it may seem like I’m talking from a peculiar position.

What right do I have to engage in body positivity and body neutrality?

Every right. Because every body matters.

My thighs touch together. My bum struggles to get into jeans.

My stomach squishes when I sit down.

Every BODY matters.

Every size. Every shape.

The body you were born to have.

The thing to remember is that it’s not your BODY which is at fault….

It’s the clothes.

The fact the high street only supplies up to a certain size isn’t okay.

The fact the high street doesn’t cater for every different body shape.

Hourglass. Pear. Trombone, whatever the hell they’re all called.

ALL OUR BODIES ARE DIFFERENT.

And this is a brilliant thing.

If you’re body exists, it’s the right size.

If your body keeps you alive, it’s the right size.

If your body is a BODY, it’s the right size.

The only thing we should be changing is our minds, not our bodies.

Body acceptance is a journey.

It doesn’t happen overnight.

I’m still not there, I still have down days.

But spending the rest of your life hating the body you were born with, is going to be so much more painful than starting the journey to accept the body you were naturally supposed to have.

Whatever size.

Whatever shape.

So if your jeans don’t fit, buy a bigger pair.

If your usual size in the shop doesn’t fit, get a different one.

Take the clothes that are two sizes smaller than you that you still keep in hope you’ll lose weight, TO THE CHARITY SHOP

You are worth so much more than your weight.

You are worth so much more than your clothing size.

At Easter or Christmas, there is always going to be LOTS OF FOOD.

And so everybody’s body weight naturally fluctuates.

It’s normal.

It’s definitely nothing to freak out about.

It’s definitely nothing to beat yourself up about.

If you listen to your bodies natural cues – everything evens out naturally.

And even if it doesn’t, your body weight does not define you.

With the weather getting warmer, I wanted to create something cool, light and refreshing with an Eastery, spring like taste.

I’ve created a Hot Cross Bun Overnight Oats using all the flavours found in your typical hot cross bun recipe.

I’ve replaced candied peel with fresh orange zest which contrasts the sweetness of the juiicy, plump raisins with a tangy, zesty flavour.

After a chocolate fest, this is the perfect morning after breakfast to start the day.

Hot Cross Bun Overnight Oats

What you’ll need:

• 40g of oats
• 1 tbsp of chia seeds.
• 1 grated apple.
• 1 tsp of mixed spice
• 1 tsp of cinnamon
• 1 handful of raisins
• Zest of 1 orange.
• (Optional) 1 tbsp of protein powder.
• 3 tbsp of coconut yoghurt.
• Plant based milk.
• Almond butter to top.

How to make it:

• Grate the apple and zest the orange.
• Put oats, spices, chia seeds, optional protein powder, grated apple and raisins into a bowl. Mix together.
• Mix in coconut yoghurt then top with enough plant based milk to cover the oats and a touch more. Mix again.
• Leave in the fridge overnight.
• Top with almond butter in the shape of the hot cross bun cross.
• Sit down with your oats, noticing the change of the season outside . Take your time and enJOY.

Happy Easter, beautiful people.

Be kind to yourselves.

And remember, its your clothes, not your body.

Much love,

Joy xx