Today I want to talk to you about ….

JOY.

Not me!

The concept of JOY.

What is JOY?

And what is the difference between HAPPINESS and JOY?

Being called JOY can often NOT be a JOY.

When I was a kid, being badly bullied, I wasn’t particularly happy.

(No shit, sherlock)

A boy in my art class thought it would be funny to make a cartoon of a character called,

‘JOYLESS JOY’

(Tres amusement)

I remember him showing me the cartoon of this character and her generally going about her day to day life being MISERABLE with EVERYBODY.

I learnt to pin a smile on my face and pretend everything was okay.

To make jokes and be silly to keep people at arm’s length.

That is HARD to keep up.

And it would often slip off, and I would NOT be a JOY to be around.

It’s not so funny when if you’re anything other than HAPPY and you are called ‘JOY’ people call you,

‘Angry’

or

‘Sad’

or

‘Depression’

(That has happened. TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL)

I’ve spoken recently on social media about what HAPPINESS means for me.

As someone who is learning to be ‘HAPPY’ again, it has been utterly JOYFUL to have a fair few weeks of being HAPPY.

Admittedly there have been BUMPS in the road.

But they’ve been better managed.

On my bus ride home from visiting my parents in Norfolk, I thought ‘When will this end?’

And I chose to let that negative thought GO.

Cue this week and I am ANXIOUS OFF MY TITS.

I lose my voice. I get a cough.

And I’m overthinking EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE

(Should I have written that? OH MY GOSH OVERTHINKING OVERTHINKING!!!!)

After one particularly ANXIOUS DAY, I rang my mum in tears saying ‘I’ve worked so hard. How can I be ill again?’

I view my mother like Pochahontas does Grandmother Willow.

As a tree that talks.

Wait… that’s not right.

As my voice of reason. As my voice of wisdom.

‘Joy, you’re not ill again. You’ve just had a bad day. You’ve got a cold, you’re tired, get an early night.’

In the morning, I received a text from my friend, Colleen.

(Thank you Colleen, you beautiful lady)

She referred me to the Young House Love podcast.

This is a podcast about home improvements.

(Not my usual podcast fodder, to be honest)

However, this week they were talking about bringing JOY into your home.

They explored how HAPPINESS is seen as a SETTLED STATE of CONTENTMENT which can feel IMPOSSIBLE to EVERRRRRRRRR REACH.

However, JOY is a transient moment of extreme positive emotion, which you can experience many times a day, EVEN if you aren’t happy.

It’s achievable.

Isn’t that an incredible exploration?

Life will always deal you UNEXPECTED CARDS.

We cannot anticipate BAD THINGS happening in our life.

Sometimes STRESS, WORRY, ILLNESS, DEATH or SUFFERING, just happens.

We cannot ALWAYS be HAPPY.

But we can experience moments of JOY on a daily basis.

I have spent a large proportion of my life reaching and aiming for being CONTINUOUSLY HAPPY.

I hate to break it to you, but THIS IS NOT ACHIEVABLE.

But you can have moments of JOY.

Days of JOY.

I’ll give you a few examples of this….

Have you ever been to a funeral and been surprised that there were moments of LAUGHTER?

Of JOYFUL rememberance?

Or have you ever had a FULL BLOWN FUMING ARGUMENT with a loved one, and been surprised that you start to laugh, perhaps about how ridiculous the argument is?

Have you ever for whatever reason LAUGHED through tears?

Have you had the CRAPPIEST of days and made yourself a warm drink/cold drink/glass of wine, put on your comfy clothes and felt content watching your favourite programme on the TV?

This is JOY.

A moment of JOY.

JOY is an experience.

JOY is achievable EVERY DAY.

In the small, seemingly meaningless things.

When I first started recovering from a severe depressive episode, the first thing I did without EVEN thinking, was starting to make myself a lovely PORRIDGE in the morning.

I bought myself some nice ingredients.

I took my time.

I made it look and taste appetizing.

I made myself a cup of coffee and took my time eating it.

Having a small mindful amount of time for MYSELF.

That seems COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS, right?

However that 30 minutes of looking after myself and taking my time was a moment of JOY.

This then lead to COOKING MORE.

Feeding myself properly.

And WRITING.

I had forgotten how much I LOVED writing.

Cooking for friends.

Laughing about STUPID things with friends.

Watching the CRAPPIEST of TV.

Going for a walk.

Ingredient shopping.

Skyping my best friend.

Talking to my mum.

Watching cooking shows.

These are all SEEMINGLY MEANINGLESS THINGS.

They’re not progressing me with my career.

They’re not earning me money.

They’re not earning me popularity.

They’re not making prospective lovers fall at my feet.

They are moments of JOY.

JOY for me is much more important than the concept of HAPPINESS.

Finding the small moments of JOY in your day.

I have had an anxious week.

However in this week, I have….

eaten good food

exercised

laughed

cooked

and loved.

I have had full hearted moments of JOY.

I am not JOYLESS JOY.

I have never been JOYLESS JOY.

There have always been moments of JOY.

I just couldn’t see them.

I am JoyFull Joy.

Take the pressure off yourself to be HAPPY.

AND embrace the moments of JOY.

What brings you JOY?

Would love to make a collection of other people’s MOMENTS of JOY.

The stuff that seems meaningless but is MEANINGFUL for you.

A collage of IDEAS.

Please comment below with your moments of JOY.

Much love,

Joy xx