Here is a funny story about cake.

And as a lot of funny stories begin, I’m going to start it with the sentence….

‘When I was severely anorexic….’

(Hilarious right? No but seriously stay with me)

I was about to collapse and be taken into hospital for the second time but before that it was coming up to Valentines day.

I was looking for Valentine’s day cards for my then boyfriend.

He wasn’t much of a Valentines day person.

I bought him one which I thought was PERFECT.

Funny and loving.

He opened it.

Looked at me in shock and said

‘Joy, do you this this is funny?’

I thought it was.

I thought it was dark humour and he would laugh.

He did not.

The card said ‘I love you more than I love cake’

(I still hands down think this is funny. What can I say?)

When I collapsed and was taken to an emergency ward then onto the eating disorder clinic, my boyfriend broke up with me.

(I’ve never won an award for comedy before.)

With a text…

‘I can’t watch you do this to yourself. It’s too painful for me. Let’s try again when you’re happier.’

I was devastated.

Furiously I text him back..

‘If you can’t be with me when I’m unhappy then you don’t get to see me when I’m happy.’

But those words ring true.

In love.

In friendship.

In life.

The people that see you through the tough times and the happy times.

Riding with you on the roller coaster of life.

(Cheers for the inspiration, Ronan Keating)

Those, my friends, are the keepers.

They are your RIDE or DIES.

I have had a tumultuous relationship with cake.

I did not eat it from the age of 14-20.

When I took recovery into my own hands, after many months, I went to a cafe with my recovery mentor.

We bought a piece of healthy, dairy free cake.

It took me hours to eat.

But I ate it.

I don’t think if you told me then, I would quite HAPPILY and OPTIONALLY eat cake, I would have believed you.

I don’t think if you told me that I would then go onto be a mystery shopper for a cake company and quite HAPPILY eat 3 slices of cake, by MYSELF, I would have EVERRRRRRR believed you!

And something I only learnt about my body this January…

(Really? I know!)

Is that if I eat a piece of cake in the middle of the week……

NOTHING BAD HAPPENS!

Shock horror!

Breaking news!

But it’s true.

Your body is GENIUS!

Intuitively it knows what you neeed.

Craves what your body needs.

And when it is full and looked after properly, it doesn’t feel manic and hungry all the time.

It feels satiated.

It’s all about BALANCE.

I also think that is important to eat for your EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

When you are sad or angry (or hormonal) and ONLY a piece of cake or a bar of chocolate will suffice, this is also IMPORTANT.

Your mental health needs to be fed too!

For the sheer JOY of it, you need to eat cake.

For birthdays.

For midweek gossip.

On a whim.

Sharing a moment of CAKE with those you love.

For me, it’s also the RITUAL of cake.

Afternoon tea

Coffee and cake

Visits in the countryside

Christmas

Easter.

It’s the moment of celebration.

It’s the moment of meeting.

It’s the moment of love.

It’s like COMMUNION (but with cake)

So today I am making COFFEE and WALNUT cake (oatmeal).

In an attempt to give up coffee, I am making this oatmeal as a small farewell (sad face)

Coffee and my IBS don’t go well together. And coffee only messes with my anxiety. So I’m sorry coffee, this relationship isn’t working anymore. I’m breaking up with you, coffee.

However the best way for caffeine to enter your body is by pairing it with a slow release carbohydrate (like oats).

That way your energy doesn’t crash, it is sustained.

I’ve also stewed some pears with cinnamon for some extra sweetness, fibre and cinnamon aids your stomach’s digestion.

I’m a little excited by this but I’ve also made a vegan ‘frosting’. Using vegan cream cheese, vanilla extract, coffee and some Macacha Vanilla Protein Powder (instead of icing sugar #refinedsugarfree #livingthedream)

Start your morning right with a piece (bowl) of Coffee and Walnut Cake (oatmeal)

Let them eat CAKE!

Coffee and Walnut Cake Oatmeal

What you’ll need:

• For the oats–
• 45g oats (double quantities as you go if making for more than one person)
• Plant based milk (enough to cover oats and a little splash more)
• A pinch of salt
• 1 tbsp of powdered coffee/small shot of espresso
• 1/2 tsp of cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract
• (Optional) 1 tbsp of vanilla protein powder (I used Macacha)
• For the pears –
• 1 pear chopped
• 1 tsp of cinnamon
• For the ‘icing’-
• 1 tbsp of vegan cream cheese
• 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract
• Small dash of maple syrup
• Small dash of plant based milk
• 1 tsp of coffee powder
• 1 tbsp of protein powder (I used Macacha)
• ALSO – A handful of walnuts

How to make it:

• Make the icing. Put cream cheese, vanilla extract, coffee powder and protein powder into a bowl and mix together. Set the mixture to one side.
• Chop pears and put into a microwavable bowl. Sprinkle with the cinnamon and microwave for 1 minute and 30 seconds. Set to one side.
• Put oats, coffee, salt, dash of cinnamon, vanilla extract and protein powder into a microwavable bowl or small saucepan.
• Top with plant based milk. Enough to cover the oats and a little more.
• If heating on the stove, heat on a low heat, stirring gently. Keep stirring till at consistency that is PERFECT for you. Transfer to a bowl.
• Heat for 2 mins. Stir. Heat for another 2 mins. Heat for 1 min more if you like your porridge THICK.
• Top with the pears, ‘icing’ and walnuts.
• Sit down with your cake (oats) giving yourself permission to enJOY cake in all it’s glory. Whether it be in oat form of actual cake form.

Much love and MUCH CAKE to you all,

Joy xx