There have been an increasingly worrying number of news articles recently about attacks on the LGBTQ+ community.

A lesbian couple on a bus in London.

The protests outside a school in Birmingham.

Straight pride in Boston.

Ann Widdecombe talking about hoping for a scientific cure for homosexuality.

It never surprises me anymore purely because we have witnessed

increasing racists attacks across the world,

Trump being voted in for president,

and right wing politics moving forward.

It upsets me that I am no longer shocked.

And I feel like now is a time to be political.

To stand up.

This is something I’ve never spoken about online

because to me, it’s the equivolant of saying

‘I breathe air’

or

‘I saw a dog in the park the other day’.

It’s natural.

It’s part of who I am.

It doesn’t change who I am as a person.

So what am I talking about?

I am pansexual.

There is absolutely no drama to this.

And when I came out to my mum when I was 15, her first reaction was to say,

Don’t have sex with the saucepans

She was joking.

She knew already.

Nothing changed in our relationship.

She loved me the same.

I am lucky to have an insanely ACCEPTING, open minded and LOVING mother who always raised me and my brother to believe that you fell in love with PEOPLE not bodies.

What is pansexuality?

Pansexuality is the belief that you fall in love with people not gender.

Whether male, female, trans, non gender specific.

It’s about the person that matters.

It’s not acknowledging gender binaries.

It is being gender blind when it comes to attraction.

For me attraction is initially based on LOOKS…

But that only gets you so far.

Someone can be GORGEOUS and an absolute arsehole with no conversation.

So attraction is LOOKS and PERSONALITY.

But never gender.

No matter what the gender, if they are gorgeous on the inside and out, I am attracted.

I believe sexuality to be fluid.

It’s a spectrum.

And that for the majority of us, it is good to be open minded to who we are attracted to and fall in love with.

In the same way that you sometimes hear people say,

Oh if I I was gay I would totally fancy Christina Hendricks

or

Well if I was gay, my dream man would be David Beckham

That’s just being attracted to somebody.

You acknowledge they are attractive.

You feel that they are attractive.

You don’t have to be ‘gay’.

Sexuality and attraction is fluid and natural.

We can’t control it.

But some people, they are not open minded to this attraction.

And people can be surprised when they find out.

Why?

Because I do talk about.

But I don’t shout.

Because it is the same to me as saying ‘I have eyelashes’

It’s part of me.

It’s not ENTIRELY WHO I AM.

I haven’t wanted to shout about it or post it everywhere or wear a badge because sexuality makes no difference to me.

It doesn’t define who I am.

So why am I talking about it now?

I was raised in a Christian background.

My parent’s have always been massively accepting and open.

But the church we went to…. not so much.

A youth worker once told us that all angels are WHITE.

Yeah……. you get where I am going with this.

Homosexuality was not okay.

In my primary school, there was a period of time where my bullies would call me an ‘ugly gay lord’.

They created a character of me on Sims and made me try to have sex with all of them. They told me how disgusting I was.

I didn’t even fully know myself at that point how attracted to women (as well as men) I was at that point.

I was a child.

I was always made to play the boy. The prince.

In my first year of high school, I played Micky in Blood Brothers.

I had to kiss the girl playing Linda, on stage in front of my whole high school.

For weeks after, I was taunted for being gay.

That kind of re-inforcement is damaging.

I still knew how I felt. Who I was attracted to.

But I didn’t want to be bullied anymore than I was.

I have non immediate family members that believe homosexuality to be a sin.

A punishable sin.

And in this world, where things are ACTUALLY changing a lot slower than we would like…

Where prejudice still brews in society…

And government officials get voted in who are MASSIVELY prejudiced…

It is now IMPORTANT for me to talk about this more than ever.

It is important to be POLITICAL and be an advocate for change.

An advocate for open sexuality.

I am comfortable in my sexuality.

I know how I feel.

Those childhood fears of being ostracized don’t scare me anymore.

Those I love and cherish are who are important to me.

If someone’s opinion of me changes in a negative way, because I’m not JUST attracted to the opposite gender, then I do not want them in my life.

Being LGBTQ+ should not make you fear for your life.

It should not make you fear being kicked out of your flat.

Or fired from your job.

Or being punished by death.

We are all human.

And we deserve to love who we naturally love.

So yes, I am pansexual.

I am not ONLY attracted to the opposite gender.

I am proud of this.

I am open to all forms of love.

This is who I am.

I am pansexual.

Does it make me ABNORMAL? No.

Does it make me inhuman? No.

Is there something wrong with my brain? No.

Was I taught to be gay? No.

Am I committing an abominable sin? No.

I am open to love in all forms.

I am accepting of others.

I wish that the rest of the world would be as accepting, kind and loving.

Much love,

Joy xx