A week ago, I got back from 6 days in Barcelona.

And I had put on a little weight.

Emphasis on a LITTLE.

Emphasis on ‘does this really matter in the grand scheme of things’

This is completely natural.

You’re exercising less and eating more indulgently because you are on HOLIDAY.

In fact on one day, I had TWO ice creams. Because I could… I was on HOLIDAY.

And also who can say no to trying an XXL Cornetto?

Now unlike other people who come back from holiday with souvenirs for their loved ones and a tan….

I came back with sunburn and TONSILITIS.

So this meant that this week instead of getting back to my normal busy life and exercise…

I was stuck in bed or on my arse in front of the television,

On Friday, after another night spent with under 5 hours sleep, I was exhausted.

I looked in the mirror and my eyes were bloodshot.

I looked at my body and noticed….. THE WEIGHT GAIN.

DUN DUN DUN.

I looked at all different angles and saw my belly was slightly larger.

My boobs were plumper.

My thighs were thicker.

My arse was bigger.

Now as of the past few months, this hasn’t been an issue.

My energy levels have been up.

My mental health has been good.

I’ve noticed change and gone ‘HELL YES GIRLFRIEND’

Not on Friday.

That sneaky little bitch Anorexia, popped into my brain and started whispering hatred in my ear.

How fat I was. How I looked disgusting. How I needed to lose weight. How I shouldn’t eat.

Now instead of letting this OVERCOME me, I had a conversation with myself.

This is okay. Your focus right now is rest. Your highest value is your laugh, your smile and the way you make people feel.

Did I eat yesterday? Yes.

Did I exercise when I should be resting? No.

I’ve spoken in the past about BODY NEUTRALITY.

And for the most part, body neutrality is a much more achievable thing.

For most of us, it is easier to accept our bodies than to fall in love with them.

However, for me personally ACCEPTING my body isn’t enough.

I listened to an interview with Megan Jane Crabbe (aka bodyposipanda) with Russell Brand in which she discussed the body neutrality movement.

She said that after years of hating her body, of underfeeding it, of mistreating it, accepting her body wasn’t enough. She needed to love it.

I agree with this completely.

When I was a kid, one of targets from my bullies, was the way I looked.

I was pale and freckly, for a start.

But I also had chub. Puppy fat. Call it what you want.

A lot of girls, were naturally slim and athletic.

I was a little pudgey.

I remember one time on the playground, me and my ‘friends’ decided to play at being a girlband.

We were going to be an all female ‘Hearsay’ (British pop band from the early noughties)

I wasn’t allowed to be in the band because I was too ugly and chubby.

Those were the actual words that were said to me.

At the age of 9.

When those words are reinforced in your head constantly, they become your only inner dialogue.

You start comparing yourself to EVERYBODY.

Your body. Your face. Your hair.

And you notice that as you approach teenage years, your puppy fat doesn’t slip off like others.

If you’ve spent the large majority of your childhood, teenage years and then adulthood absolutely hating every single thing about the way you look…

Accepting it is a slippery slope back into hating it.

If on a daily basis, you fixate on the inches and size and shape of your body, just becoming APATHETIC or forgetting it isn’t enough to stop the fixation.

In the same way, that when a lover gets naked in front of you, you look at their body and LOVE and LUST after what you see….

The same should be said of your own body.

Maybe not the lust part, but you get the point.

You don’t say to your lover ..

I can see your cellulite

or

You could lose a few pounds

or

You need a 26 inch waist.

Quite frankly, if you did, you wouldn’t be having sex for a WHILE.

It’s okay to have slip up days or moments.

You can’t get on with everybody all the time, even your own body.

There are gonna be days where your brain doesn’t like what it sees.

This is okay.

How can we fall in love with our bodies?

How can we be positive about our bodies?

Here is what I have found helpful…

Negate the negative

I can admit that I have cellulite in my arse. I have stretch marks on my boobs. My feet are very long. My face isn’t symmetrical. My noise is pointy. And my shoulders are weirdly broad.

Those are negative things, yes. But they have absolutely ZERO impact on who I am as a person.

It’s not like my long feet act out and kick me in the face on a daily basis.

Time spent HATING them, changes nothing. They’re a part of my body and they always will be,

My spirit. My personality. The love I have in my heart, is more important.

My body working. My body moving. My mind thinking, is more important.

Forget the negatives.

When they come up in your head, look at the thought and choose not to react.

You have better things to do with your time than hate yourself.

This is GENUINELY what made the change for me.

Realizing how much of my LIFE, my ENERGY, my brain space I had WASTED hating my body and myself.

I’m not wasting a moment more of my energy on that.

When those thoughts arrive, I let them pass by,

No thank you, not today.

Recognize what looks GOOD

I have hated my tits and arse for a long time.

I haven’t liked their existence and would rather they had gone away.

Now I recognize that I have a good hourglass figure and they look GOOD.

I acknowledge what is GOOD about my body and I like it.

I acknowledge when I look good.

When you see the good, you feel the GOOD.

Start noticing the things about your body you like.

What looks GOOD.

Get rid of some clothes

If some clothes don’t fit you anymore, GET RID OF THEM.

It only makes you depressed to try them on and convince yourself you’re disgusting.

Bin em! Get some new clothes. Carry on being you.

Wear clothes that make you feel HELLA GOOD

If you kept hanging round with a person who made you feel like crap, it wouldn’t make any sense.

It’s the same with clothes.

Wear things that make you feel GOOD.

This is different for every person.

I like the colour black, different prints and LEOPARD PRINT.

Filling my wardrobe with these things makes me feel GREAT when I put them on.

You know what you feel good in.

Stop the comparison

This is easier said than done.

I find it most overwhelming at exercise classes.

I see a lady with a six pack and a bread stick thin waste and my brain flares up.

But you can choose to let that thought go.

All our bodies are different.

You are your own person.

You are supposed to look like you. Not anyone else.

I hope these ideas help you move towards falling in love with your own body.

It’s been helpful to remind myself of these things when I had an off day with myself on Friday.

I’m going to quote myself here from a blog post a few posts back.

‘Your body is a BLOODY TEMPLE!

Not in the sense that it is a temple with a six pack that should only eat KALE.

But in that, you should kneel at the temple of your own body EVERY DAY and thank it for being.

Thank it for existing.

Thank it for it’s difference to any other body.

Feed it with treats.

Don’t overfeed it to the point of bursting or vomiting.

Don’t starve the temple.

Feed it with love.

Feed it with goodness.

Listen to the temple and respond.‘

Everybody knows by now I am FLAVOUR MAD.

I love big beautiful flavours.

As well as big, beautiful bodies.

Which is what was brilliant about visiting Barcelona.

The strong, punchy, Spanish flavours.

And how BEAUTIFULLY FRAGRANT and FLAVOURFUL the FRESH FRUIT was.

I get mega EXCITED about FOREIGN SUPERMARKETS.

I could spend hours and hours exploring everything.

One thing I picked up from my Spanish supermarket adventure was FRESH APRICOTS.

I’ve never tasted apricots quite as beautiful.

Juicy, fresh and sweet.

They only get more flavourful the riper they get.

Hence why dried apricots taste so god damn good.

Apricots remind me of being a child.

Snacking on dried apricots my mum gave me and my brother.

Visiting Baxter’s Soup and Jam factory and eating giant Scotch pancakes covered in my favourite Baxter’s Apricot Jam.

So inspired by my trip to Spain, I’ve made this Apricot and Pistachio Overnight Oats.

I’ve got the Spanish flavour of the spicy, sweet cinnamon and the plump, delicious apricot contrasting with the slightly salty, slightly sweet pistachios.

I’ve used Exclusively Fruit’s Apricot Compote along with Fresh Apricot to give the oats delicious sweet layers. All natural and delicious.

Mixing the compote with the fresh apricot also gives a contrast in texture with the crunchy and soft.

When I tasted Exclusively Fruit’s Apricot Compote for the first time it took me straight back to Summer days of my childhood. It made me a bit emotional – in a good way.

This is a really refreshing, sunshine filled way to start the day.

Apricot and Pistachio Overnight Oats

What you’ll need:

• 50g of oats
• 1 tbsp of chia seeds.
• 1 tsp of cinnamon
• 1 pinch of salt
• 3 tbsp of coconut yoghurt
• 5 tbsp of plant based milk
• 4 tbsp of Exclusively Fruit’s Apricot Compote (defrosted)
• Handful of pistachios
• Spoonful of hazelnut butter if you’re feeling extra sexy.

How to make it:

• Mix oats, chia seeds, cinnamon and the pinch of salt together in a porridge bowl.
• Add yoghurt and plant based milk and stir.
• Put into the fridge to mull overnight.
• Sleep sweet dreams. Wake up. Do your THANG. Chop and deseed two apricots and mix with the defrosted apricot compote.
• In a bowl, layer the oats with the apricot mixture.
• Scatter pistachios on top with some fresh apricot.
• Sit down with your oats knowing that you are filling your body with the love it deserves. Love and enJOY.

Stop wasting your time and energy hating your body.

It’s time to fall in love with YOU.

Much love,

Joy xx