Yesterday I started my period.

EWWWWWWWWW! For God’s sake Joy, why would you think it’s appropriate to share that with us?

And then share a food recipe. Seriously, what’s your problem?

(Sub note: If you’re one of my male readers and you want to skip down to the recipe, I completely understand.)

Periods are normal.

Period. (heh)

It’s something that over half the population goes through.

And something that can disappear completely for some people.

When I first got my period when I was 11 years old, I was hella EXCITED.

Alot of the other girls had started theirs already and I felt left out.

Before it started, I used to practice my reaction face in the mirror and then what I would say to my mum.

A face of shock and delight, I would run down the stairs and shout ‘Mum, mum, I’ve started my period!’

What a little drama queen.

I didn’t even realize the reality of them.

I went on to have incredibly painful, crippling, heavy periods.

So much so, that I was prescribed pain medication and the contraceptive pill at 12 to manage how heavy and painful they were.

When I was 14 and severely anorexic, they disappeared.

After refeeding and regaining of weight they came back.

When I was 19 and got to my worse ever relapse and lowest weight, they disappeared and this time, they didn’t come back.

They didn’t come back for 4 years.

At first, it was amazing. I was genuinely so happy to not have to deal with it anymore.

Then my anorexia got worse, and I just wanted it all to disappear.

But when I started getting better and still no sign, it was terrifying.

After four years, I was prescribed the contraceptive pill to boost more female hormones into my body to kick start my period.

I got them back but my gynecological doctor explained that they were withdrawal bleeds or fake periods from the end of the pill cycle ending. That I may still not be having genuine periods until I gained more weight.

I was told this at 23. She encouraged weight gain to a consistently healthy BMI and me to cut down on so much running.

Did I listen to her advice? No, I didn’t.

I continued to under eat and overexercise.

When I did I actually listen to her advice? This January. 2019. 4 years later.

I have no full medical understanding of the impact of having no periods for such a long time will have on my own fertility. Which is terrifying.

I hand on heart want my own children in future. To be able to care and give whole hearted love to a little person of my own. To teach them that they are worthy, wanted and special.

Only time will really tell the impact of that lack of period for such a long time.

What I do know is that my periods are not the same as before I lost them.

They’re not as painful. They’re not as heavy.

I still get mood swings, spots, bloating, pain and breast swelling (YUM YUM).

And when my period comes, I’m always mildly happy. Happy that my body is working.

I also get mad cravings and get extremely hungry, tired and my blood sugar levels drop.

This was honestly very scary for a long time. And I would ignore the hunger and low blood sugar and still continue to under eat, getting even more emotional and tired.

Now I understand that everything evens out. That I feed my body what it requires during my period and everything evens out afterwards.

I listen to my body because I want it to WORK.

Amenorrhea is the absence of menstruation.

It can happen for perfectly normal reasons like pregnancy or the menopause.

It can also happen because of hormone imbalance and fertility issues.

It can also happen due to low body weight, over exercise or stress.

Sometimes our bodies can be incredibly clever in knowing what is an uninhabitable home for a baby to grow. Therefore our periods go until low body weight, low body fat or stress has eased.

For anybody who is currently suffering with amennorhea due to an eating disorder or due to stress…. DO NOT STRESS.

Panicking about it WILL NOT HELP.

I have a handy way to deal with worry which is analyzing the problem and acting accordingly.

For example, if I’m worrying, ‘I have an exam’ then I look at that worry, see that I have a FACTUAL REASON to feel strongly about it and then I react accordingly by REVISING and STUDYING.

If I worry, ‘I need to get rent money’, then I look at the worry, see that I have FACTUAL REASON to feel strongly about it and then I react accordingly by BUDGETING and WORKING MORE HOURS.

If you have amennorhea, then you look at the worry, see that you have a FACTUAL REASON to feel strongly about it and then react accordingly by continuing to FEED your body and not OVEREXERCISE.

This is easier said than done. I get it. I am proof of this.

But keep at it, things will change.

Your desire for life, for learning, for love, for happiness HAS to be STRONGER than your desire for control and to be THIN.

I really crave carbs when it’s my lady week.

I really crave carbs when I’m tired – because my body needs the energy.

I especially crave pasta.

Carbohydrates are what provide a lot of energy for your body. They are the main source of energy in your diet. They help your body work. Properly.

They help maintain blood glucose and help with muscle recovery after workout.

So pasta is not only HELLA TASTY but it’s also HELLA IMPORTANT for your body.

I used to make a variation of this dish when I first moved to London 7 years ago,

And I really fancied it this weekend, so I improved the recipe.

Vegan Stroganoff Spaghetti.

It’s got a cheesy, garlicky, smoky flavour. It tastes indulgent and creamy and oh so satisfying.

It’s completely dairy free and vegan.

And super straightforward to make.

I hope you enJOY.

Vegan Stroganoff Spaghetti

Serves: Two

What you’ll need:

• 110g spaghetti
• 1 tbsp of vegan butter
• 2 cloves of garlic
• 1 red onion sliced.
• 30g of normal vegan cheeze
• 30g of vegan cashew cheeze
• 100g of mushrooms
• 1 tsp of smoked paprika
• 3 tbsp of vegan single cream
• 6 grinds of black pepper
• 1 tsp of salt
• Block of seitan sliced into small pieces marinated in garlic oil.
• Rocket to top.

How to make it:

• Slice seitan into small pieces and marinate for 2 hours in oil and garlic.
• Preheat oven for 200 degrees. Cover a baking sheet in tin foil and place seitan slices onto the sheet. Bake for 20 minutes.
• Start boiling spaghetti in salted boiling water over a medium heat.
• Slice red onion and finely chop garlic. Slice mushrooms and set to one side.
• Melt vegan butter in a frying pan over a medium heat. Saute sliced red onion for 5 minutes then add chopped garlic. Saute for a few minutes.
• Add mushrooms. Saute for 2 minutes then add smoked paprika. Saute for a further few minutes then add single cream.
• Add both cheezes until melted into a sauce. Add pasta water to loosen the sauce.
• Drain spaghetti and add to sauce pan.
• Serve onto two plates and top with seitan and rocket.
• EnJOY. Like actually enJOY. Allow yourself to fully enJOY your plate of carboydrate pasta goodness.

Listen to your body. Give it what it deserves to work.

Much love,

Joy xx