Imposter Syndrome

A psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistant internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.

A feeling of being out of place.

For any of my readers feeling like this…

You are not alone.

You deserve to take up space.

You belong.

I have persistently had impostor syndrome since before I can even remember.

As a child I felt like the OUTSIDER.

The weirdo.

The imposter amongst the children.

The bullying only cemented it in my brain.

Any achievement I made didn’t feel real.

I worked hard. I did well. And it didn’t feel real.

It didn’t feel like mine.

I always felt more comfortable amongst adults.

Amongst children, I felt like the impostor.

Or like I had to ACT up to fit in.

Last year I went on a date with a man and told him that….

At my sixth form leavers ball, everyone else was 18 so after dinner finished, they departed to the night clubs of my home town.

I was 17. So I sat at the bar with the teachers for the rest of the evening, drinking gin and tonics and chatting.

This wasn’t in a creepy way. I just got on with them better.

My date told me I was a weirdo.

#thankyounext

In rehearsal rooms, or in training I have constantly felt like an IMPOSTOR.

And even as an adult, I have felt like I was MASQUERADING as an ADULT.

That it wasn’t real.

That I was the weirdo.

And EVERYBODY else knew what they were doing.

Felt they knew who they were.

And belonged to exist in any space.

That as a woman, I was an imposter.

Not at all woman.

A teacher once told me that I was ‘beautiful’ like an ALIEN.

I look weird.

I am weird.

I act weird.

A year ago, I was doing a day job in a school and one of the children was upset.

When I asked them what was wrong they said to me that they …

‘FELT WEIRD’

and that

‘THEY WEREN’T LIKE OTHER CHILDREN.’

I said to that child,

‘I’m weird too. And you know what?

IT’S REALLY COOL.

It’s cool to be weird.

It’s brilliant to be different.’

Why would a CHILD have to feel like being DIFFERENT was a BAD THING?

How could a CHILD have it possibly INGRAINED in them that DIFFERENCE was WRONG?

Impostor syndrome is something that ALOT of us deal with.

Walking into a room and feeling OUT OF PLACE.

Like you don’t DESERVE to be there.

Being at a social gathering and feeling OUT OF PLACE.

Being in your job or day to day life,

And not feeling like you BELONG.

I want you to tell you today that what makes you

WEIRD

DIFFERENT

ODD

is what makes you

UNIQUE

and

BRILLIANT.

I’ve been doing a lot of GROWING recently.

Growing into myself.

Growing into my life.

I have never felt like less of an imposter than NOW.

And do you know why?

Because I’m learning that I do not NEED to receive ACCEPTANCE from other people

For what I have achieved

For what I’m achieving

For what I do

Or how I look

Because….

I’m starting to ACCEPT ME.

I make choices that reflect on me.

I make choices about my body, my life, my work and who I associate with FOR ME.

Acceptance and change does not happen over night.

It takes work.

It is a journey.

How can we start to make this change?

I’ve spoken in the past about being ‘wonderfully weird’

And I think that is the thing that we have to EMBRACE,

In order to ease IMPOSTER SYNDROME.

That our uniqueness,

Our difference,

What has held us back in the past,

What made us feel OUT OF PLACE,

Or like we DIDN’T BELONG,

Is what makes us WONDERFUL.

Wonderfully WEIRD.

I want to change the way that WEIRD is perceived.

In the same way that I think that anyone who is referred to as ‘nerd’ is rather bloody COOL in my books.

Weird means UNIQUE.

Weird means fantastically DIFFERENT.

I am WONDERFULLY WEIRD.

And that’s just the way I like myself.

(I may make badges of this. Hmm…)

You may be DIFFERENT,

You may feel like an IMPOSTER,

But you are never ALONE in this.

Thyme in OATMEAL.

Wait a second… thyme is a savoury herb. It is an IMPOSTER in oatmeal.

Blackberry and Thyme together are a fantastic flavour combination.

You may have found it in a cocktail that you once had in a swanky bar.

Thyme consists of a compound called CARVACOL.

In research, CARVOCAL has shown that if eaten consistently over 7 days, boosts your MOOD.

It releases SEROTONIN (happy hormone) and DOPAMINE (neurotransmitter associated with the brain’s PLEASURE and REWARD system).

Eating a little in your food every day can help encourage mood boosting.

I have a fantastic THYME aromotherapy oil which I rub into my pressure points in the morning to start me off in a good mood.

Just one cup of blackberries contains HALF the daily recommended dose of VITAMIN C.

Blackberry and Thyme Oatmeal

What you’ll need:

• 45g oats (double quantities as you go if making for more than one person)
• 1 cup of plant based milk
• 2 tbsp of water.
• 1 tsp of mixed spice
• 2 sprigs of fresh thyme
• A pinch of salt
• 1 table spoon of maple syrup
• (Optional) 1 tbsp of Vanilla Protein Powder (I used Tribe‘s Vanilla and Cinnamon Protein)
• Handful of blackberries
• 1 tbsp of Mindful Bites Hazelnut and Berries Nut Butter / Handful of Hazelnuts

How to make it:

• In a sauce pan gently simmer plant based milk with the leaves of 1 sprig of fresh thyme
• Add oats, a few blackberries SQUISHED into the mix, 3 tbsps of water, mixed spice and a pinch of salt.
• Stir gently adding optional protein powder.
• Serve and top with fresh blackberries, hazelnut butter/hazelnuts and the leaves of the other sprig of fresh thyme.
• Sit down with your oats and take a moment to enJOY the aroma of thyme. Let it’s mood boosting smell fill you with a hint of JOY.

Much love,

Joy xx