I appreciate it’s Mother’s Day and your social media will be in-fluxed with backstories and essays of how amazing people’s mothers are.

And it’s important that we express the LOVE and APPRECIATION we feel for fantastic people in our lives.

For some people this is an incredibly difficult day, due to various different reasons.

I’m not going to write an essay about how incredible she is.

Today, I want to write about some things I have learnt from my Mum.

Some lessons that she has taught me along the way that as a teenager then as a young adult, I was too STUBBORN to absorb.

I would fight her. Or ignore her.

And do exactly what ever the hell I wanted.

I don’t believe in regret as ‘mistakes’ only teach us and help us grow.

And here are some of the lessons that have helped me grow.

Number 1: Don’t take yourself too SERIOUSLY

My mother has exactly the same BIZZARE sense of humour that I have.

And she has never lost her SENSE of play.

She never takes herself or her life too seriously.

She buys foxy toys and loves to be silly.

I was a very serious young person who took EVERYTHING to heart.

When actually, life is mean’t to be ENJOYED.

A sense of humour and lightness does you WONDERS.

I took my my early twenties and my drama school training, VERY SERIOUSLY.

I beat myself into submission and treated it like a MARATHON TRAINING.

I was not a fun person to be around.

I was not kind to myself.

I took EVERYTHING personally.

My mum would always ask my friends and past boyfriends SILLY QUESTIONS to get them to laugh,

‘Have you ever STEAMED A SALMON in the DISHWASHER?’

‘Would you help me bury a dead body?’

She also managed to swear and mention sex toys within 5 minutes of meeting a past boyfriend’s parents (this was within appropriate context if you’re wondering)

I love her for this.

LIFE is also about play.

Creativity is about play.

And LIFE doesn’t need to be taken so seriously.

Number two: You catch more flies with HONEY than with VINEGAR.

Whether this comes to work, relationships or friendships.

Or when it comes to arguments or falling outs.

Taking the road of care and kindness rather than AGGRESSION.

I have seen her dissolve FIGHTS in the street.

I have seen her approach grown men quite literally KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER,

with calmness and kindness and RESOLVE the situation.

Number three: Never go to bed ANGRY

This not only applies to relationships but friendships and life in general.

We all fall out with someone or get angry at something in points of our lives.

It’s important not to STEW in this resentment but TALK IT out.

Going to bed with as much PEACE OF MIND as possible.

Number four: Love.

I am not a christian.

But my mother is.

And the greatest lesson I have learnt from her faith is…

‘Love’.

‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE’

My mother LOVES passionately.

She FEELS deeply.

And she cares about people in her life.

I have seen her share her LOVE with the special needs children she works with,

With her colleagues,

Friends,

Family,

Husband

And me and my brother.

The greatest lesson is always LOVE.

Number 5: SEX IS GREAT

Woahhhhhhhh…. wait a second Joy, that is creepy as hell.

How did your mother teach you that? EWWWWW!!!

My mother was always open with us.

She bought us a children’s book about how it all works.

And much to our embarrassment as teenagers, told us that masturbation is okay.

I am grateful that my mum approached sexual education with positivity rather than fear.

Number 6: Everyone is WELCOME

Irregardless of where you come from, how you look, race, gender, sexuality…

Everyone is welcome.

I am pansexual.

Which means I fall in love with the person rather than the gender.

I am gender blind when it comes to attraction and love.

When I came out to my mum as a teenager, tongue in cheek she said,

‘Don’t have sex with the saucepans’

And told me she knew already.

And nothing changed.

She always taught me and my brother that EVERYONE IS WELCOME.

That everyone is to be treated with respect and care.

Number 7: All shall be well and all shall be well and ALL MANNER OF THINGS SHALL BE WELL.

There have been great periods of sadness and hardship in both my Mother’s and my own life.

It’s not necessary to go into detail,

However,

She always taught me that …

This too shall pass.

All moments are temporary.

And all shall be well,

All shall be well,

And all manner of things shall be well.

I think that the main thing to remember on Mother’s day is…

The important of good, strong parental figures.

Not necessarily your BIOLOGICAL mother.

It might be someone who plays that role for you.

Whether it be an aunt, a grandmother, a family friend, a god parent, a neighbour etc….

The verb ‘to mother’ means

‘to bring up a child with care and affection’

I can think of 3 other people who have done this in my life.

And two of those people are not WOMEN.

And they are not RELATED TO ME.

So today let’s remember the women who raised us.

And the women who were our role models.

The maternal figures in our lives who taught us lessons along the way.

To the people who brought us up with care and affection.

Much love,

Joy xx