One step forward, two steps back.

Often it can feel like this.

That you are striving towards a goal, whatever that goal may be, and each step you take forwards, it feels like you are falling backwards.

Or that no matter how hard you try, you can’t reach your goal.

Or even in the TRYING to reach the goal, you are making yourself miserable.

Or that you are not even sure WHY or WHAT you are working towards anymore.

Whether that be a body goal.

Or a career goal.

Or a love goal.

Or a travelling goal.

Or a life goal.

Recently everything has been moving forwards in terms of ACTUAL LIFE development.

My body and mind has been working at the best it has in YEARS.

I’ve been feeding myself, my mind and my soul to it’s FULL EXTENT.

I’ve been working hard and life has been gradually falling back into place.

And new exciting developments are on their way.

And last week my body became ill.

What was tonsillitis has become glandular fever.

I thought I was getting better so full of excitement but still exhausted, I attended the fantastic HBC Summit on Saturday (Health Bloggers Community Summit).

My antibiotics were draining my body and I wasn’t fully better.

But I put on a brave face and went because I’d been looking forward to it.

It was a fantastically inspiring day with so many interesting talks, people and companies.

Halfway through the day, I started feeling overwhelmed and tireder and the panic STARTED to rise.

My brain started spiraling into an old pattern of negative thinking.

‘YOU DON’T BELONG HERE! EVERYONE THINKS YOUR WEIRD!’

Thankfully, the kind and lovely Nourishing Amy saw me, took me outside for a breather and a chat and connected me back to the real world.

And the rest of the day continued to be inspirational and educative.

I was slightly ashamed that I had been weak and vulnerable and NOT PERFECT.

But I had been ill.

I’d set the bar HIGH when it was my first day out of the house in a week from tonsillitis.

On Sunday, I felt sicker. The fever and headaches returned.

As my mind and the rest of my life is moving forward POSITIVELY, my body has decided to take a step backwards.

Should I beat myself up for this?

No, I need to rest and life will continue on moving positively when I’m better.

That experience on Saturday made me realise that striving for perfection.

To be the perfect person.

To strive towards a goal, can sometimes cost us.

We are all human.

Blips happen.

But do we need to set the BAR so high?

We are constantly told as a child growing through school and university,

And then as an adult through media messages that we have to ACHIEVE everything.

That we have to be PERFECT.

Our bodies must be perfect.

Our minds must be perfect.

Our lives must be perfect.

We must be happy.

We must have the best job.

The best education.

We must have lots of money.

We must be remembered.

That we must work hard,

That we must push through pain,

That we must push through suffering,

To reach PERFECTION.

Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.

I’m sorry, but this phrase is ridiculous.

This tortured artist or tortured soul concept is TIRING.

People push themselves hard out of passion.

But if you are suffering for a goal or a standard that you have set,

If it is making you MISERABLE, something needs to stop or change.

Suffering is part of the human condition.

That is something we can NOT change.

But chosen suffering,

Suffering we inflict upon ourselves is a CHOICE.

You set the BAR that you live by.

You are the ONLY person who can set the standard or goal for your life.

When you beat yourself up for making a mistake, or stumbling, and you start to BEAT yourself up, ask yourself the question…

‘Who has set this standard for myself?’

I know personally that I have a perfectionist part of my personality.

That I have set huge goals for my life, body and career.

And have beat myself up for not being PERFECT.

Who set this goal for me?

It was me.

Why?

Is it bringing me JOY or PAIN?

I know a lot of wellness or ‘inspiration’ blogs are goal orientated.

That the inspirational quotes we see are saying ‘PUSH YOURSELF’ or ‘YOU WILL ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS IF YOU WORK HARD’.

What I want to say today, is SET THE BAR LOWER.

I’m not saying become lazy.

To stop striving for a goal that brings you pleasure.

But to accept where you are, how far you have come and TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES.

Don’t be ruled by where your future will lead you.

Be RULED by NOW.

The present moment.

Not everyone is going to be a millionare, a CEO of a company or a Hollywood movie star.

We all have our own individual journey that takes us down many roads.

What is important to remember is what you have ACHIEVED.

What we are achieving and striving for in our lives.

And for some of us that is raising a child and being a great parent and role model.

Or caring for a loved one who is sick.

Or working in the supermarket to pay the bills.

Or raising money for charity.

Or having a beautiful plus size body.

Or working hard to go travelling.

Or working 3 jobs to pay for university.

Or teaching children, preparing them for future lives.

Or working a day job before the next acting job comes.

The only PERSON who can set the BAR in which you live by is YOU.

Your happiness and your life does not have to be set by anyone else.

Even in comparison to others.

The only PERSON who can set the BAR in which you live by is YOU.

Sometimes in the morning, you do not have time to make a bowl of porridge or any other breakfast.

You need that extra sleep.

You need something to eat on the go or that takes minimal effort in the morning.

You need to set the bar lower and make the morning as easy as possible.

So I’ve made a super straight forward overnight recipe with BUCKWHEAT flakes.

Buckwheat is rich in various antioxidants. The nutritional value of buckwheat is a lot higher than other grains.

I’ve also added ground flaxseed and chia seeds. This helps the breakfast bowl become all juicy and plump. But also adds a heck load of extra protein.

I’ve flavoured mine with turmeric. Turmeric has no caffeine but is a natural booster. It has anti-inflammatory and high medicinal properties.

I’ve topped it with blueberries which are also packed with anti-oxidants and vitamin C.

And pistachios or pistachio butter as a salty contrast to the rest of the flavours.

This is a quick and easy pick me up in the morning. (You just have to remember to prep it the night before.)

Overnight Turmeric Buckwheat

What you’ll need:

• 4 tbsp of buckwheat flakes.
• 1 tbsp of ground flaxseed.
• 1 tbsp of chia seeds.
• 1 tsp of turmeric / 1 tbsp of Pukka Herbs Turmeric Gold mix
• 1/2 tsp of cinnamon
• 1 grated apple.
• Plant based milk (enough to cover mix and more)
• Handful of blueberries
• Handful of pistachios/ pistachio butter

How to make it:

• Put buckwheat flakes, chia seeds and ground flax seed into a bowl.
• Stir in turmeric and cinnamon.
• Grate an apple and add to mix.
• Top with plant based milk of choice and a little splash more.
• Mix till all is incorporated. Leave in the fridge overnight.
• In the morning, layer or top with pistachios/ pistachio butter and blueberries.
• Sit down with your breakfast bowl and take some time to enJOY before you start your day.

Remember today and in future that only YOU can set the bar that you live by,

Much love,

Joy xx